Are you tired of taking it in the ass from your employer? Or frustrated at being patronised all day by a work colleague? Perhaps you ache for the perfect moment when you can tell your nagging wife to stick it up her hairy arse. Well my friends, it’s time to take some action. Read on.

Sometimes, other people who are unhappy with their meaningless, fragile time on Earth like to take out their missed opportunities, failed attempts and catastrophic decisions on the innocent. If this sounds like you, then look no further for your solution.

You know you're pretty funny for a dead guy!

I, Quantumhead the razor-tongue, have pledged to spend my spare time righting these wrongs. Putting straight the bullies, the cowards and the shallow minds synonymous with inflated egos. Kind of an internet vigilante, if you will; with a vendetta against the guilty.

And this is what I think of your call-centre job, you little cockroach

If you are having problems, and no one else can help, if you can find me…….. Hang on, that’s the A-Team. What I mean to say is, if you feel you are currently on the receiving end of a beating with the shit-stick of injustice, I can help. You can send me an e-mail at cheetham.dereck@googlemail.com or simply leave a comment on this page.

Please be sure to include a brief synopsis of your situation; who the cause of the problem is, their e-mail address and why you feel them to be unfair. If I feel the perpetrator is taking blatant liberties I will then contact you back to discuss selectively highlighting the offender’s flaws in a rather amusing e-mail. If you choose I will also blind-copy you into this e-mail, for the purposes of extracting the rare self-contentment exclusively derived from telling someone you dislike to FUCK……. RIGHT……….. OFF…………..

This service is completely free and I am here to serve……………….

Quantumhead.                

If your problem is too far-gone to consider e-mail revenge, I advise calling these guys and asking for T.